Dark Side Chances
by V. Shalyr
Summary: Nothing is going as Shinichi hoped and it's as though the world is falling apart around him. Wandering the streets of Tokyo, the last thing he expected was to be singled out by a familiar stranger using a nickname he hasn't heard in months. Sometimes, the choice to keep on moving forward is the hardest one to make. Eventual KaiShin
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Detective Conan/Case Closed.

**Summary**: Nothing is going as Shinichi hoped and it's as though the world is falling apart around him. Wandering the streets of Tokyo, the last thing he expected was to be singled out by a familiar stranger using a nickname he hasn't heard in months. Sometimes, the choice to keep on moving forward is the hardest one to make.

**Pairings**: eventually Kaito x Shinichi

**WARNINGS: Eventual shounan ai (boy/boy pairing), you have been warned **

**AN**: For people who have read my other DC stories, you may have noticed that I don't like to use the name "Conan" even when Shinichi is shrunk. However, since Shinichi will be spending a lot of time shrunk in this story, I will be using "Conan" for pre-antidote Shinichi and "Shinichi" for post-antidote Shinichi.

Oh, and I apologize for the somewhat nonsensical title. I was using it as a working title due to a friend's suggestion and it just stuck.

* * *

**Dark Side Chances **

**By V. Shalyr**

* * *

**File 1**

**Distance **

Conan scowled as his cell phone rang. He had a feeling he knew who was on the other end and he was _not_ in the mood to deal with him.

"Hello?"

"Kudou! What did you _do_?"

Conan rolled his eyes, tapping the end of his pencil impatiently against his notebook. "Why are you calling, Hattori?"

"Why do you _think_ I'm calling?" the Osaka detective snapped back. "What happened between you and Nee-chan?"

He sounded honestly angry, Conan mused. Good, he was in a foul mood himself.

"It's none of your business."

"Kazuha told me she was _crying_," Hattori retorted, his voice rising.

Conan's stomach dropped. He hadn't wanted to hurt her. But damn it, that wasn't entirely fair either. He hadn't even done anything, just agreed with her. _She_ was the one who had broken up with _him_—hell, they'd never been officially _together_ in the first place. Gah! Why did everything in his life have to be so complicated?

"She'll be okay."

Ran was strong. She was the one who had made the decision. She'd been prepared.

"That's all you have to say?"

"Did you know she's started dating Eisuke? They're out at dinner right now."

"Then go after her! You love her, don't you?"

"Do I?"

"What? Of course you do. You two were meant for one another!"

Conan rolled his eyes. Sometimes, Hattori was just as superstitious as his girlfriend. Or perhaps superstitious wasn't the right word. Idealistic? Yes, that was it. Conan could remember a time when he'd been like that too. Funny though, how it seemed like all that had happened to someone else.

The hand holding his pencil had tightened into a fist and he had to forcibly pry his fingers open before he snapped it.

"Just shut up, all right? Just shut up."

He didn't want to talk about it. He couldn't talk about it—not with Hattori, not with Ran, and certainly not with Kogoro. He briefly wondered if he should try talking to his parents, but they usually just made him more confused. Some people had parents who could comfort them or make everything seem all right, put everything in the right perspectives. His parents just turned everything upside down and waited to see if you could put the pieces back together.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

"_Good bye_," Conan snarled, losing what little patience he'd had and throwing the phone back down on his desk. He sat for several minutes just glaring at it, daring it to ring again, then got up, grabbed a jacket, and headed for the door.

No, Hattori might be a fellow detective, but he didn't understand, didn't _want_ to understand. Things had changed—_he_ had changed. He just hadn't realized how much until then.

.

**Easy **

It hadn't been easy to settle into life as Conan. Sixteen-year-old high school detective Kudou Shinichi had been too visible, too swept up in his ideas of "justice", in playing the detective, in his books and his dreams.

It hadn't been easy to realize that the world didn't work that way.

Then again, it hadn't been easy to keep on lying to people that he cared about, but he'd had to get used to that too. You could get used to a lot of things if given the time, and three years was more than enough time. Upon reflection, it was probably a good thing that Ran had decided to move on and not wait for him any longer. At this rate, he wasn't sure if he'd ever get his old life back. And really, after three years stuck back in elementary school, what would life back as a teenager even be like? If he thought rationally about it, he knew that it would never be the same. He hadn't wanted to admit it, but recently, it seemed like everyone and everything was intent on shoving it in his face. Honestly, he probably should have been ashamed that he hadn't accepted it before. After all, hadn't he always claimed to believe only in the truth?

But what was _truth_ really in the end?

Why couldn't his life ever just _be_ easy?

As he made his way through the crowds, not caring in particular where he ended up as long as it was _away_, he heard the chiming of a clock tower in the distance. Ten rings—not too late yet but getting there.

Sometimes it felt like all he had was time, and other times, it felt like time was always running out. He wished it would just make up its mind which it was.

Or maybe he only felt that way because he was stuck, not moving forward but unable to move back. And it was no comfort at all that, genius detective or not, he couldn't figure out how he'd gotten to such a point let alone how to get out of it.

.

**Patience **

Kaito excused himself from the party with a laugh and a smile. In actuality, he was feeling more tired than anything and had all his intentions set on a hasty escape, but it wouldn't suit the character he put on these days to be too hasty in his departure. So he made himself linger, put on an air of reluctance, exchanged promises to attend another one of these parties sometime, and kept on smiling, confident that no one would be able to tell that it wasn't real.

This seemed to be happening a lot these days.

Pulling his hat down low over his face, Kaito stuffed his hands into his pockets and started down the street. He didn't have anywhere in particular he wanted to go so he just let his feet take him where they would while his thoughts wandered.

He wouldn't exactly say that he was feeling lonely, not exactly. He was too accustomed to being by himself for loneliness to be the right word. But that didn't mean he wasn't tired of being alone.

He'd moved out of his mother's house when he started attending college, and even though he was often home for visits, it wasn't quite the same. Aoko and Hakuba were still at the same school but he usually went out of his way to avoid them. They'd started going out shortly after they'd all graduated from high school and were getting along remarkably well. Kaito was happy for them, but well… There was only so much he could take of listening to his best friend and her boyfriend vehemently discussing putting his alter ego behind bars. It was wonderful that they shared a passion, but he just wished they shared a different passion. He was a patient person—impatience wasn't a survival trait for internationally wanted thieves and Kaito was definitely a survivor. But years? Kaito didn't think anyone had that kind of patience.

He had a lot of other casual acquaintances through his classes at the university, but he'd been careful not to get too close to anyone. It just made life easier. And it wouldn't be fair to anyone he got close to when he had so many secrets, told so many lies.

Passing a newspaper stand, Kaito glimpsed a photograph from his most recent heist and grinned. Perhaps he should head over to that new exhibit he'd heard about and do some scouting for KID's next target. It was a little soon perhaps, but it wasn't like he was busy and there was always the chance that the next one could be the jewel he was looking for. After years of searching, he was starting to think that possibility quite slim, but it was still there and so he would keep searching.

Besides, he enjoyed being KID. It was probably one of the only things that really excited him these days.

Kaito bought a copy of the papers and continued on his way. Call him conceited but he liked reading about himself.

Of course, that didn't mean he wasn't paying attention to his surroundings. And because he was, he noticed the small figure wandering down the sidewalk towards him. Kaito blinked and did a double take. What was Tantei-kun doing here?

.

**Familiar Stranger **

"Hey, kid."

Conan looked up, startled at being addressed.

"Should you really be wandering around alone at this hour?"

The age thing—again. No wonder it was always partly on his mind. Everyone kept reminding him of it.

"You shouldn't make assumptions about someone on their appearance."

Kaito would have laughed at that if it wasn't so out of character for his current character.

"No, but it's the fastest and most obvious way to judge someone you haven't spoken to. We have to start somewhere."

"I suppose," Conan shrugged dismissively, his gaze wandering past the stranger then sliding back. Something about him nagged at his mind, but he couldn't put his finger on it and wasn't particularly in the mood to try.

"Are you feeling all right?"

_No, _Conan thought but his mouth said, "Does it matter?"

"Shouldn't it matter?"

"I don't know." Why was he even conversing with this guy? And what a strange conversation it was turning out to be.

The young man seemed taken aback by this answer and Conan took the opportunity to start walking again, passing the stranger and continuing down the street. The young man was right though. He really should start heading back eventually. He just couldn't bring himself to do it yet.

Kaito frowned. He couldn't just let Tantei-kun go like that.

Frankly, Kaito had been worried about the detective. He had attended all of his recent heists, which had come as a pleasant surprise, but there had been something different about him—a weariness or a pain perhaps that Kaito hadn't liked. It reminded him too much of the darkness that always seemed to be lurking at the edges of his mind waiting to move in should he let his resolve falter.

Making a quick decision and hoping he wasn't making a mistake, Kaito made sure his hat was pulled low and adjusted his position just slightly so the light and shadows of the nighttime street obscured his features even further.

Then he raised his voice and called out, "Tantei-kun."

Conan froze mid-step and slowly turned back to him, eyes wide behind his fake glasses.

.

**Company **

That voice, that name, that _tone_—all of it completely shocked Conan temporarily out of his gloomy thoughts. How long had it been since the last time he'd seen the thief? The last heist had only been a few weeks ago and he'd been attending them almost religiously for the past year, though he himself had yet to figure out why that was.

To be suddenly faced with him here and now of all times, Conan wasn't sure what to do.

"Do you think it's wise for you to be talking to me?"

The young man shrugged, projecting an air of nonchalance that Conan wouldn't be deceived by now that he knew who he was talking to. "You could say I'm finding out. So tell me, is it wise?"

Conan had to stop and think about this. His relationship with the enigmatic phantom thief had been changing lately too. He knew that much. He just didn't really have the energy or the desire to try and catch him anymore. Sure, he still went to heists and did his best to solve the puzzles and keep up with KID, but it had stopped being about actually catching him a long time ago. Perhaps… Perhaps it was because KID was the only person who knew his secret but never judged, never compared him to or connected him with who he had been as Kudou Shinichi. It had seemed as though to KID, he was simply who he was—a detective, a child, a teenager—perhaps because of his own mixture of identities, the thief didn't have any trouble just accepting him as he was or reconciling the many parts of his identity that he had only just begun himself to accept as all _real_ and all his own.

"Why are you talking to me?" Conan asked finally.

"What kind of thief would I be if I didn't do something when my favorite detective is looking so down?"

"A normal one or a sane one, take your pick."

"Exactly."

Despite himself, the corners of the detective's mouth quirked upward. "I'm not going to try to turn you in if that's what you mean. So I guess whether or not it was wise depends on you."

"Well then, in that case, would you like some company? It's not a good night to be alone."

Conan considered this. He hadn't wanted company before, but for some reason, he really didn't want the thief to go. He hadn't really wanted to be alone either.

"Company would be nice."

* * *

**TBC... **

* * *

**. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Detective Conan/Case Closed.

**Pairings**: eventually Kaito x Shinichi

**WARNINGS: Eventual shounan ai (boy/boy pairing), you have been warned **

* * *

**Dark Side Chances **

**By V. Shalyr**

* * *

**File 2**

**Listening **

Kaito liked to talk. It was a well established fact. He liked to talk and he was quite good at it, used his words to bend the truth, to diffuse a tense situation, to make people laugh or get someone to do what he wanted, believe what he wanted them to believe.

And because of that, people tended to forget that he was good at listening too.

After all, that was the point. People let their guard down when they didn't think you were paying attention.

But he knew that right now, what Tantei-kun needed was someone to listen, someone to pay attention to what he had to say so he could pay attention to them as well. People could only keep so many things bottled up inside and still remain sane.

Hmmm, Kaito wondered what that made him. Then again, he'd never deigned to claim he was sane. Sane people didn't run around stealing things, taunting law enforcement, and wearing white with snipers after them.

"How much do you know about me?" Conan asked curiously. He'd always wondered about that, ever since he'd found out that KID knew he and Shinichi were one and the same.

"Let me see," Kaito mused, placing a finger on his chin in an exaggerated gesture of deep contemplation. "I know a lot of things—the cases you've solved, a lot of the people you've met, your friends and family—,"

"Okay, I get it," Conan interrupted hurriedly. That was a bit too creepy for details.

KID chuckled, clearly amused by his discomfort. "What I don't know is how you got from being Shinichi to being Conan. Shaving ten years off one's life isn't exactly an everyday phenomenon, even for people like us."

_Us_, the word felt strangely suitable. Conan wondered what KID had been thinking about, wandering the streets at night alone as well.

Maybe that was why Conan decided to tell him what had happened. After all, if anyone could keep a secret, it would have to be Kaitou KID.

.

**Understanding **

"You could just walk away, you know."

The streetlights seemed so bright, set at regular intervals along the street and making the darkness of the night seem even darker somehow. Bright lights and sharp shadows, KID's ideal environment. It was the perfect cover and the perfect stage.

"What?"

KID didn't look at him, just kept his gaze focused upon the path ahead. Other people were beginning to fill the sidewalks as they made their way back towards a more populated area and he kept his voice low to mix in with the murmur of their laughter and conversations. "The people you're after—the Black Organization… You realize how dangerous it is to get involved with them. You, the people around you, they wouldn't hesitate to try and kill anyone who gets in their way. So far, you've been lucky. No one you care about has been hurt yet. You might not be your proper age, but so what? You could just walk away now and no one would blame you."

Conan couldn't say he had never entertained the thought of doing just that, but at the same time, "I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because… Because it just wouldn't be me. They're killing people, even if they aren't people I know. It doesn't change that fact. Someone has to stop them. I can't walk away."

"No, I suppose you couldn't. But is it worth the risk?"

"…I don't know."

"That's not a very good answer, Tantei-kun."

No, Conan agreed, it wasn't. But what answer could he give? When all was said and done, did he even really have the right to make this decision?

"Why do you seem to know so much about this?" he asked instead.

Beneath the shadow of his hat, KID's mouth twisted in a humorless kind of grin. "As I said before, I know a lot of things. Who's to say?"

.

**Mystery **

They had wandered around for what felt like hours before Conan looked up and found them standing only a little ways away from the Mouri Detective Agency. KID had walked him home.

"Are you ready to go back?"

Conan glanced up at the thief, wishing that he could see his face more clearly. Talking with the thief had calmed him down considerably, cleared his mind of his almost constant worries and replaced them with a whole lot of other questions, mostly about the thief himself. KID had always surrounded himself with so many mysteries. To most people, they were the mysteries of his magic and his identity, where he had come from and where he disappeared to when he was not on one of his heists or thwarting another of his imposters. Then there was the mystery of his reasons, his past. As a detective, he had wondered briefly about that before, but now it seemed somehow more important.

"Yeah, I suppose so. And…um, thank you."

KID tugged his hat down further, but Conan could make out his trademark smirk even in the dark. "You're welcome."

Inhaling deeply, Conan looked up the stairs at the agency's front door. Well, it was time to go back. He was done with being depressed and angry. It wasn't going to fix his problems. Right now, he was just confused.

By the time he looked back, KID had already gone.

.

**History**

The Kudou manor was silent as Conan slipped through the door, locking it securely behind him and standing for a moment in the dark to make sure he was alone. He wasn't sure what he was doing there except that it was somewhere where he could get some time to himself, where most people wouldn't know to look for him. Time to himself had become increasingly important over the years. Or perhaps it would have been more accurate to call it time away from everyone else. Time to read and think without the possibility of being interrupted or of seeming "off" for his age. He snorted at that thought.

That in mind, he set off up the stairs towards his favorite room in the overly big house—the library. This had become an almost daily routine: sneak away from the Shounen Tantei or the Mouris, slipping into the old manor unnoticed, and immersing himself in one of his favorite Sherlock Holmes books or just wandering around the many rooms with a soccer ball in tow. Today, however, as he reached to pull a random Holmes book from the shelf, his gaze landed upon the cabinet in the corner that contained a bunch of his father's research files on various criminals. Letting his arm drop back to his side, he moved over to it and pulled open one of the lower drawers.

He thumbed through the contents, pausing on a folder he'd never thought to look in before. The letters written on the label in his father's neat hand spelled out three very familiar letters: _KID_. Curious, he pulled the file from the cabinet and wandered over to the couch to peruse it. The folder was quite thick too; he hadn't known his father had collected this much information on the master thief.

Sorting through various newspaper clippings, Conan found himself scrutinizing a photograph of the phantom thief during his first appearances more than a decade ago in Paris. Despite their identical costumes and familiar smirk, it was easy to tell that the first KID had been a different man. Then again, Conan had known that already. The current KID was too young for them to be the same person. Though he had to wonder what had happened to the original. Just disappearing didn't seem like KID's style.

Eight years of silence and then the phantom thief's reappearance like he had never been gone.

He was a detective after all. He couldn't help but wonder what had happened, especially now having met the thief in a whole different setting. What was he hiding behind that enigmatic smile? What was he after really?

Reaching the end of the case files, Conan frowned. After an article speculating on the disappearance of KID, his father had included another article on a magician who had died during an accident on stage, a man named Kuroba Toichi. Could his father have believed this man to be the first Kaitou KID? Had he been right? What was the relationship between that first KID and the second one?

Giving his head a violent shake, Conan closed his eyes and leaned back in his seat. He wasn't even sure why he was thinking so much about this. Perhaps it was just curiosity. Or perhaps it was just because he'd found it strangely relaxing to talk to the thief and wanted… Wanted to _understand_.

Wanted to be _understood_.

And so it was that Conan found himself wandering the streets around where he had bumped into KID that other night, hoping to cross paths with the thief again. For once in his life, luck seemed to be on his side.

"Fancy running into you again here, Tantei-kun. Unless you were looking for me?"

KID definitely sounded amused. And was the hat—though a different one tonight he noted—a permanent part of his wardrobe? Or maybe the thief simply kept one on hand all the time in case of occasions like these. Conan wouldn't put it past him.

"You could say that."

"Really? May I inquire as to why? I'm afraid I've already had my fair share of nosy detectives today."

"I'm not here because I'm a detective." The reply slipped out before he'd had a chance to think about it, but Conan realized right away that it was true.

"Oh? So if you're not here as a detective, why are you here?"

Conan had to stop and consider this. His mind whirled with questions, true, but they were only part of the reason. He refused to call it an excuse.

"Because I like your company."

The thief paused then resumed his steady stride, surprised by the straightforward response, so simple and yet unexpected. "Well then, in that case, I'm sure I can spare an hour or two to walk with you."

.

**Reasons **

They talked about a lot of things, about justice and reality, magic and lies, detectives and criminals and dreams. It had been such a long time since either of them had really had anyone to just _talk_ to like normal people. One night became another, and the magician mused at how he had begun to look forward to their walks, just meandering through the city together and watching the people go by.

Hakuba had asked Kaito more than a few times over the years why he did what he did—or rather why _KID_ did what he did. It was just another straw to add to the bundle of things that frustrated him about the magician thief, and perhaps for that reason, Kaito had adamantly refused to let slip so much as a hint within his hearing. Hakuba was too "by the book", too black and white. Sometimes, Kaito wondered if he'd even understand if he tried to explain. It wasn't that Hakuba wasn't a good guy—well, at least as far as _detectives_ went. But he didn't seem to really understand _emotions_ and _people_ the way Kaito did.

But Tantei-kun… Tantei-kun was different, perhaps changed by his recent experiences into a detective unlike any Kaito had ever met. And really, when he thought about it, their stories were ridiculously similar in many ways despite their personal differences. The Black Organization had permanently altered both of their lives, forcing them into the shadows in this war in which they had both been given and yet really had no choice but to fight. They had both fought alone up until now, coming to pursue the same ideas of justice albeit from different sides of the law.

They had learned how to differentiate in life between what was important and what wasn't. It might not have seemed like much when you thought about it at first, but in the end, that meant everything.

It made him wonder—dangerous things to wonder, he knew, but still. They had each fought alone until this point, but perhaps the future didn't have to be that way.

Perhaps that was why when Conan finally worked up the courage to ask him straight out, "Why do you steal things at all? You almost always give them back."

Kaito allowed himself, just this once, to give an honest answer.

* * *

**TBC... **

* * *

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	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Detective Conan/Case Closed.

**Pairings**: eventually Kaito x Shinichi

**WARNINGS: Eventual shounan ai (boy/boy pairing), you have been warned **

* * *

**Dark Side Chances **

**By V. Shalyr**

* * *

**File 3**

**School **

Conan could never decide whether he hated elementary school or found it a relaxing break. Usually, it turned out to be a mix of both, weighted towards one side or the other depending on the day.

Today definitely swung towards boredom. Elementary school had been dull enough the first time around, forget the second.

He sat at his desk trying to look interested as the teacher went through math problems he could probably solve in his sleep. This… This had to be some kind of torture. At least he could be pretty sure you couldn't actually die of boredom. Even he'd never run across a case like _that_.

He couldn't understand how Haibara, seated a few desks away from him, could _not _be falling asleep. Then again, he would bet that the things she was scribbling in her notebook weren't about math. Knowing the evil little scientist, she was probably working out the details for her next experiment or mulling over the results from her last one.

All of a sudden, the classroom door slid open and a young man who—Conan did a double take—looked exactly and suspiciously like Shinichi himself walked in and paused to speak with the teacher. She listened for a moment then nodded. The newcomer waved at Conan and he blinked before putting his stuff in his bag and getting to his feet. Neither of them spoke until they had made it out of the school building, at which point Conan glanced sidelong up at his companion.

"What are you doing here and why are you dressed as me?"

"I would have thought the answers to both were obvious," KID replied smoothly. "I'm getting you out of school for the rest of the day—or rather "you" are because it's more convenient that way—for me anyway. I don't have class today and I want company."

A motorcycle was waiting for them in the parking lot.

"You know, KID, this could probably be considered kidnapping," Conan remarked, accepting the helmet the thief handed him.

"Maybe, but admit it, you're glad to see me. You were bored out of your mind." He grinned crookedly and the detective found himself smiling just a little. KID's moods could be oddly infectious.

"And it's Kaito."

Conan froze with the helmet halfway on his head. Lowering it again, he stared wide-eyed up at the thief. "What?"

"Kaito," the thief repeated, crouching down so they were at eye level. There was laughter in those sharp, indigo eyes but there was seriousness too and Conan couldn't look away. "That's my name."

.

**Bookstore**

Of all the places Conan had expected the thief to take him, he hadn't been expecting this. But then KID had always been good at that game.

Conan wandered through the countless bookshelves after his new companion—his new friend?—with his eyes wide behind his fake glasses. It wasn't that he'd never seen a bookstore of this magnitude before. It was how complete the collection here was on mystery and crime, and how _old _a lot of these copies were.

"This place is amazing."

KID chuckled. "I thought you might like it. Some of these books are pretty valuable since aside from the new stock, this place buys used stuff and the owner has an eye for first editions and rare books. Hakuba's here a lot too, but I'm pretty sure he's otherwise occupied today so we should have no problems avoiding him."

"Hakuba Saguru?"

"The one and only Absolute Nuisance, yes."

Conan snorted, amused despite himself. "I wasn't aware you two were acquaintances—outside of your heists that is."

"Actually, we went to high school together. He came to Japan to "unmask KID" and happened to transfer into my class."

Conan could only imagine what that must have been like. Probably some form of complete and unadulterated chaos. He wished he could have been there to see it. He couldn't help feeling like he'd missed out on so much.

He started when a hand descended to ruffle his hair.

"Hey, I didn't drag you out here with me so you could be depressed."

Conan batted the hand away and grumbled, "Don't do that."

"Aww, but you look so _cute_ with your hair all messed up."

"I'm not a little kid!"

"How do you know I don't talk to adults like that?"

"…Why _are_ you here anyway?"

"I've been reading my way through this place since I found it. If I find anything of particular interest, I'll buy it. Besides, I need inspiration for my next heist notice."

"And you decided to bring me along? And Sonoko wonders why the police think KID is crazy."

"I don't see any reason not to. It's not like you don't know now. Who else could I bring?"

Conan shook his head but refrained from any more objections as he reached out to pull a couple books from the shelves. It wasn't like he minded. It was just…unexpected—though in a good way.

"And it's Kaito, Tantei-kun, I thought I told you that already."

"Ah, right… Kaito."

.

**Nickname **

KID—no, Kaito—seemed very fond of nicknames. Most people he saw and interacted with on a daily basis had dozens. Hakuba, for instance, could be "Tantei-san" when he was feeling charitable, "that nosy bastard" when he wasn't, or simply "the Nuisance".

But the only nickname he ever gave to Conan was Tantei-kun. Of course, he sometimes called him Shinichi or Conan-kun when they were around other people. But in the end, those were just names, brief references. To the thief, he would always be Tantei-kun, not famous detective Kudou Shinichi or Edogawa Conan, the strange brat who always seemed to be running into murders and tagging along with Detective Mouri.

And in a way…that was comforting. A place where he could just be himself—not who he had been or who people expected him to be, but himself as all his experiences up until that point had made him. And really, that was the best gift anyone had ever or could ever give him.

.

**Running **

"Are you…" Conan hesitated. "Are you ever afraid that you'll get too used to running?"

Too used to hiding, too used to keeping secrets.

For a long time, Kaito said nothing though he had a pensive sort of look on his face. It was the weekend and Kaito had stolen him away for a visit to Ekoda where he had apparently lived for most of his life. Their outings had taken them to almost every coffee shop and café around the city. This particular diner provided a nice view of the Ekoda clock tower in the distance and the food was quite good—though the waitress had given Conan a funny look when he'd ordered coffee and Kaito a slight frown when he hadn't stopped him.

Finally, the magician shrugged.

"It's already too late for me to be afraid. And anyway, being afraid has never really been my thing."

Conan frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"I should be asking you the same thing." Indigo eyes didn't turn to look at him, but Conan could feel the gaze nonetheless as the thief asked in the half mocking, half serious way of his, "The question is, are you asking about me or about you?"

"And if I'm asking about both of us?"

"You'll have to decide that for yourself, no?"

"Do you practice talking in riddles, or does it just come naturally?"

"Mm, habit. But hey, "natural" is so overrated. Things are "natural" when people make them that way. It's just a fabrication like everything else."

.

**Thunderstorm **

Kaito had often marveled at the unreliability of weather reports. Yet all the same, he thought this was a bit ridiculous.

The thunderstorm had swept into the city so quickly that they hadn't even had time to open an umbrella. The skies lit up with flashes of lightning and the roar of thunder added to the roar of the engines as he veered his motorcycle in the direction of the closest safe haven he could think of.

Both of them were soaked through by the time they arrived in front of his apartment door.

"Here, you can use the bathroom to dry yourself up," Kaito told him, showing him the way. "There are a couple towels in there and I'll see if I can dig up something for you to wear that won't look too ridiculous. My room is down the hall."

"You live by yourself?"

The apartment had more than enough space for two or three people, but Conan saw no evidence that anyone else shared the place.

"Certainly makes things easier. This way I don't have to worry about explaining myself if I'm injured during a heist or can't get home for whatever reason until dawn."

Conan cringed a little at the reminder of his friend's nighttime activities. He still couldn't believe Kaito had been playing such a dangerous game all this time. It was a miracle he was still alive. And the funny thing was that the magician didn't even seem a bit afraid. He wondered where that kind of courage came from, or if it was just plain foolishness as Haibara would no doubt have claimed. But then perhaps Kaito needed that kind of unfailing confidence in order to keep on surviving the stunts that he pulled. If you wanted to live, you couldn't go in believing that you would die.

By the time they were both finished cleaning up, Kaito had two cups of hot chocolate steaming on the living room table. Conan sat on the carpeted floor, his eyes wandering curiously around the simple furniture and extensive decorations—most of which he guessed were paraphernalia from Kaito's magic tricks.

"Does it ever get lonely?" Conan found himself asking on impulse, recalling fleeting moments when he'd lived by himself in the Kudou manor. He'd never felt alone then himself, not really. He hadn't understood what "alone" meant until Conan.

Kaito shrugged, leaning back against the couch where he sat opposite him upon the floor. "Maybe sometimes, especially when it rains." He paused then flashed his companion a sly, half smile. "But not right now."

And they sat together in silence listening to the thunder and the drumming of the rain upon the windowpanes.

.

**Expectations **

"Don't touch that!"

But the warning came too late. The tiny and rather fluffy mechanical bird gave a soft, whirring chirrup and suddenly Conan found himself tackled to the ground moments before a small explosion made the silverware on the table rattle. Smoke engulfed them and they both began to cough even as Kaito hauled them over to the window and thrust it open.

"Note to self, Tantei-kun, don't touch anything I have lying around without asking me first. You never know what might happen. Hell, sometimes even _I_ don't know what will happen. A lot of these things are still highly experimental."

"Sorry," Conan wheezed, relieved by the gust of damp but clear air that swept through the room. "I wasn't exactly expecting you to have miniature bombs sitting around in your living room."

Literally. And shaped like cute little birds with curious, beady, black eyes.

"Oi, it's _me_ we're talking about here."

"Point taken. I suppose I should have known better. I'm surprised your neighbors don't complain."

"A lot can be said for good sound insulation. And anyways, I'm a magician. I might not perform on stage, but there's no way I was keeping _that_ a secret."

It would be like trying to hide a fire in a dark room, and what would be the point in that?

"I assume you make your own sleeping gas too?"

"Well of course! Where else am I going to get all those different colors?"

.

**Curse **

"A gemstone that has the power to grant a person immortality… Do you really believe such a thing exists?"

The two of them were sitting on the roof of the Kudou manor, peering up at the stars. Kaito seemed to like rooftops even out of costume. Maybe it was the solitude of it or the clear view of the sky he so often employed for his spectacular escapes. Or maybe it was just that feeling when you looked out across the sea of glittering lights below that you were standing for just the briefest moment above the entire world—untouchable.

"I don't know. But then I have no reason to believe that it doesn't."

Conan turned to stare at him. He was still disguised as the "old family friend" that the Mouri family had come to know him as, the one that had "recently" moved back into town and often dropped by to take Conan out. They had both thought it best Kaito didn't appear as himself, if for no other reason than to avoid any problems that would result from being mistaken for Shinichi.

"No reason? I would have thought there were plenty of reasons."

The magician chuckled. "Because there's no such thing as magic? Because people can't live forever? Coming from a person who had ten years literally taken off his life."

"But that's different. That was science."

"Science, magic, it's all a matter of perspective. After all, in a fantasy world, magic _would_ be their science." He paused, musing. "I suppose that means that if this were a fantasy novel, you would be under a curse."

Conan snorted. "A curse, huh? Certainly feels like one sometimes. And what would that make you?"

"The mysterious magician who seems to know everything. There's almost always one of those." Kaito grinned. "You need them because they're the ones that make things happen."

* * *

**TBC... **

* * *

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	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Detective Conan/Case Closed.

**Pairings**: eventually Kaito x Shinichi

**WARNINGS: Eventual shounan ai (boy/boy pairing), you have been warned **

* * *

**Dark Side Chances **

**By V. Shalyr**

* * *

**File 4**

**Assistant **

Conan heard the gunshots before he saw the snipers. And he saw the snipers moments before he saw the white form of the thief veering sharply in the sky. He had no idea if the thief had been hit or not, but he didn't have the time to speculate. His brain told him to go after the snipers, but there was no way he could get to them in time. And even if he had, there was no way he could have knocked them all out by himself. And his frantically beating heart was telling him to go check on Kaito.

Kaito who he had come to consider a very close friend, perhaps even the closest friend he had ever had.

Racing down the museum stairs and out into the streets, Conan hurriedly activated the tracker in his glasses. It had taken a lot of convincing to get Kaito to carry a tracer on him during his heist, but it had been worth the effort. Without it, he would never have been able to find the magician now.

Following the point of light on the lens of his glasses, Conan found himself making his way cautiously up the driveway of a modest house in a quiet seeming neighborhood. It was quite an ordinary house at least from the outside and Kaito had never brought him to it before. All the curtains had been pulled closed, allowing only a faint sliver of light to seep through. Worried and nervous, Conan adjusted his tranquilizer watch and reached up to press on the doorbell. If this wasn't one of Kaito's safe houses, he would be ready.

The man who opened the door was…not exactly what Conan had been expecting, even though he wasn't really sure what he had been expecting.

A balding man with gray hair and a small mustache to match peered around at the street before looking down and spotting the "child" upon his doorstep. He looked surprised, but Conan spoke up before he could.

"Hi, I'm sorry but I'm looking for a friend of mine. I was wondering if you've seen him."

The old man blinked behind his glasses and crouched down, a kind smile on his face. "Oh, I see. Can you describe this friend for me?"

"Well," Conan started, watching the man's expression carefully and hoping he wasn't making a grave mistake, "he's a teenager and he's got really messy brown hair and really likes magic."

The man's eyes widened for a moment before he forced his expression back into a neutral mask. There had been a hint of suspicion in those eyes as well, but that was when looking like a little kid actually came in useful. Instead, the man examined him with veiled curiosity.

"May I tell him who's asking for him?"

"Conan," he answered, smiling with some relief, "Edogawa Conan."

It was the first time he had ever met Konosuke Jii, Kaitou KID's main assistant, though it certainly wasn't the last. It seemed that heists often ended or began with a brief meeting with the old man. And though the two had tread rather cautiously around one another at first, Kaito had quickly taken care of that, wasting no time introducing his best assistant to his favorite detective. A detective, he had joked while ruffling Conan's hair, who was also quickly becoming one of his assistants. Conan had swatted his hand away and scowled, but hadn't argued. He was just relieved that the magician was okay.

.

**Smile **

"How can you keep doing that?"

"Doing what?"

Conan gestured helplessly at his face, not quite able to articulate exactly what he meant. "Keep on—being so cheerful all the time, keep on _smiling_ even with all _this_."

He waved his arms to indicate everything around them. Other diners glanced curiously their way but he ignored them.

Kaito calmly took a sip of his sweet tea. "What's not to smile about?"

The detective raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "Well, let me see. How about people trying to kill you—kill _us_? Or people trying to arrest you, our families being in danger if people find out so always having to lie—me having to repeat elementary school, you having to postpone or possibly even give up your dreams to have a career as a magician…"

The list went on and Kaito just sat back and let him vent his frustration on all the unfair cruelties that fate had seen fit to bestow. He had to admit that it was quite an impressive litany of woes and fears and everything in between. Finally, Conan slumped in his chair, exhausted by his own turbulent emotions and uncertainties.

"Here, try some cake," Kaito said, sliding his plate across the table. "It's good."

The detective stared at him for a long moment then picked up a fork and took a bite of the dessert without a word. It wasn't until he'd almost finished that Kaito spoke again.

"I made a choice."

Unusually solemn indigo eyes met blue and held them.

"When I decided to revive KID, I knew what I was doing. I'm a thief. I have a lot of enemies on both sides of the law. Jail, injury, death—they're all things I decided that I was willing to risk. Normal life, normal relationships, I knew that I would be giving that up. It just wouldn't be fair to the people I care about if I tried to hold on to it all. These were all consequences I accepted, sacrifices that I was willing to make."

He smiled, though it was a grim sort of smile with more sardonic humor than amusement. "I'm not always happy about it. I am human after all. But it was my choice, and I know that given the chance I would make the same choice again. So all I can do is move forward. Some things just aren't meant to be."

Conan—no, _Shinichi_—would never forget that smile. And it made his insides twist painfully because he saw in that smile all the things he _hadn't_ been willing to give up, all the things he had tried so hard to hold onto only to discover that the only things he had left in his grasp were ghosts.

.

**Favor **

Conan lay in bed staring up at the ceiling and trying to sort out his thoughts. It had been a week since that conversation with Kaito and he'd been thinking about it a lot, trying to figure out how he felt about the answers and the questions—and what he wanted to do about them. He cringed inside every time he imagined continuing on the way he'd been living for the past three years. He just couldn't do it anymore. But what other options did he have? Where could he go? It didn't change the fact that he looked like a nine-year-old child.

Rolling onto his side, he gazed out the window that he'd left partially open. He'd wanted to be able to see the moon.

It was ironic really. He was sure that if he asked Hakuba or Hattori or any of the other officers who had had to deal with the master thief, they would agree that KID acted just like his namesake, maddeningly clever, carelessly arrogant and immature. Yet Conan knew now that that was just one of the thief's many faces—not _fake_ exactly but not the whole picture either. Even before he'd gotten to know Kaito, he'd glimpsed some of those other faces, the calculating calm, the unfailing confidence nonetheless tempered with painstaking caution, the sadness and the determination and the certainty. And at the end of the day, it wasn't Kaito but all the rest of them that were the real children.

Perhaps you had to recognize that before you could really grow up. It wasn't always about getting what you wanted. It wasn't even about pursuing justice or knowing what was right from what was wrong. It was about knowing that sometimes things had to change, and that sometimes you had to make sacrifices in order to keep on living.

Maybe… Maybe it _was_ time for a change. It seemed like all he'd been doing since he'd been shrunk was adjust to other people's actions, guided by other people's decisions. He'd never even thought of really trying to change things on his own, too caught up in the limitations of his forced transformation to consider the possibilities. Then again, he'd believed so fervently back then that he'd be back to his "old self" in no time, and then "no time" had turned to months and then years. He just hadn't wanted to acknowledge that.

Taking a deep breath, Conan sat up and reached for his phone. He'd made a decision, but there were some matters he had to settle before he could leave.

"Kaa-san, I need to ask you a favor."

.

**Moving Forward **

Kaito opened the door of his apartment, blinked, and looked down in surprise at the kid standing on his doorstep. "Er, Tantei-kun?"

He wasn't particularly surprised that the mini detective remembered where he lived even though he'd only taken him there once when they'd been out and a thunderstorm had unexpectedly swept in.

Conan shifted the bags he was carrying a little self-consciously. He'd been doing a lot of thinking and soul searching over the past few days, and his end conclusions had brought him here. He just hoped he was right and the thief wouldn't turn him away. "Um, can I come in?"

"Sure." Kaito shrugged and moved forward to help him with his belongings. "This sure seems like a lot of stuff for a visit."

Conan looked away at the hint of question in his voice. It did seem rather sudden of him but, "I, uh, was kind of hoping I could stay here."

The magician stared. Of course he'd guessed as much from the luggage, but that didn't mean it wasn't a surprise.

"I do have the room," he said carefully, "but are you sure?"

He was, after all, an internationally wanted criminal, even if he was basically nonviolent and returned almost everything he stole.

Conan nodded, looking relieved. "I'm sure."

Still trying to figure out what exactly the detective was thinking, Kaito led the way to the guest room, which he'd furnished but had remained empty since he'd moved in—he was a showman and every room had to be presentable even if it wasn't in use. Watching the shrunken detective scurry around the room putting his stuff away, he asked finally, "Not that you're not welcome here or anything because you are, but just out of curiosity—what _are_ you doing?"

Conan paused, staring down at his hands then back up at his new housemate. "I'm making a choice."

* * *

**TBC... **

* * *

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End file.
